Breakaway: KakuHidan
by fangedfallenrose
Summary: We meet a fourteen-year-old Hidan Lomoges. He is being abused by his father, a middle-aged man. Life is pretty bad until his father remarries into the Iwa family. There he finds acceptance, love, and friendship in the oddest of places.
1. Prologue

"No! Get away from me you fucking asshole!" Hidan struggled under the impending weight of his father, trying and failing to get away. The older man raised his fist and crunched it onto the pillow beside his son's head.

"Do not use that language around me Hidan. I am your father and therefore it is your sole duty to cater to my every need and to treat me with respect and to do all that I say." The young zealot's eyes misted over, struggling to dam the tears building up behind his lashes. He would not cry. Not this time.

Lavender eyes rolling back into his head, the inevitable flashback began:

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_"Daddy, the guys at school all laughed me because I don't wear boxers. Can I please have some?" A five-year-old Hidan asked his father, a then respectable, almost middle-aged man who had lost his wife five months earlier to an accident. Before she had died, she had made her son wear Huggies-Pull-Ups because he would have nightmares occasionally that caused him to wet the bed. She had meant to buy him underwear before he started Kindergarten, but she stopped breathing before she had the chance._

_"Boys who kill their mother don't get the luxury of wearing underwear." The older man sputtered angrily, exiting the room. His son just stared after him, tears pooling up in his eyes before spilling over. The wet saltwater created dusty tracks running down the boy's dusty face, beginning to carve the grooves that would never go away._

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He was only thirteen, almost fourteen, and already he had been r-r-r (he couldn't even form the word in his mind) thirty-seven times. Since the ripe old age of seven anyway, when he'd began to keep track, carving a line on the soft underside of his right wrist the second it ended and his father went back into his own room.

It wasn't a big deal, his cutting, like it was for most people. Because, you see, Hidan couldn't die from blood-loss. He had a rare condition called **_Cannoncrudusutnex_**. It quite simply meant that he created blood cells so fast and so efficiently that he could never run out of the life-giving-substance that carried oxygen to his cells. The only known side-effect was that he was really pale, and couldn't gain weight to save his life. (That and the extra blood made it impossible for him not to blush when embarrassed. Which was really noticeable because he was so pale) But he didn't want to die, why would he when if he did, nothing would change?

He loved that kind of pain, the outside, physical sort that kept him tied to this earth. According to the _Oxford English Dictionary_ that made him a masochist. Actually having a group of people that he fit into (even if he did not know them) made him happy in a sick way. That's how he found his religion, Jashinism. A religion pretty much devoted to masochism.

But this kind of pain, what his so-called father was putting him through, was not the kind he enjoyed suffering through. In fact, this kind was completely awful.

Before he could draw his forty-third breath, the older man's weight was gone, and he was out of Hidan's room and stumbling drunkenly to his own.

Curling up into a little ball, he reached underneath his pillow for his commonly-used razor blade. Shaking he took it in his left hand and pressed it to the soft, unmarked skin of his shoulder. Thirty-eight. The fifth time that week, the third deepest cut yet. He couldn't stay in that house a moment more. He had to get away, leave. Breakaway from the tight atmosphere that was destroying him from the inside.

Break away from the truth that was defining who he was as a person, as a Jashinist, and as his mother's son.

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_Just so you know, Cannoncrudusutnex is not a real disease. (As far as I know) It's just something that I made up using the latin phrase 'Cannot bleed to death' or something like that. Hidan and Jashin are Masashi Kishimoto's, but Yuu (father) and Yuriki (mother) are mine_. _If you know of, or are being abused in any way, go to .org they will help._


	2. Chapter 1: StepFamily

-1He couldn't though, not yet. His father needed him. He was getting remarried.

The woman was five-foot-seven, had piercing blue eyes, bobbed blonde hair, and three kids. Deidara, who was his age, (whom he had never met), Naruto, a seven-year-old, and his twin, Ino. Her name was Hitomi Iwa and she was twenty-nine. Her husband Isamo died in war seven years earlier, just before she'd had the twins. There were rumors flitting around that Isamo wasn't the twins' father, but, that Yondaime Uzamaki or even Inoichi Yamanaka were.

Hidan had only met her once, and she was so fucking nice to him, that he actually had hope that after he and his father moved to her house on the other side of the city, he wouldn't have to put anymore marks on his right arm, his left arm; however, was devoted to Jashin.

*************************Two months and five cuts later**************************************

The zealot was sitting on a bench in the back of the audience. His father had put him there because he didn't want his loud, obscene mouth to ruin his wedding. Not that he minded, from the back he could see everything. It was beautiful.

The isle was decorated with pink and white Sakura Blossoms strewn all over. His step-mother was wearing a traditional white-silk kimono, her shiny blonde hair done up in a bun with two tortoise-shell combs that also held up the pearly-white cloth and veil covering her head, almost matching the creamy white of the make-up covering her skin. She carried purple and yellow Iris's in her pale hands.

His father was adorned in a black-silk kimono, white sandals, carried a white fan, and had a pleated, striped Hakama to boot. His silvery hair stood out among all that…extremity. They were, after all, having a traditional Japanese wedding.

In the front sat three blonde kids. The taller had half his long hair up in a ponytail, and the other half trailing down his back. The curve of said back was so feminine that, if it weren't for the black kimono that he himself was wearing, Hidan would have thought he was a girl. That must be Deidara, the fourteen-year-old.

The medium-tall one had all of her long, ashy, blonde hair pulled up into a high-pony-tail. Even so, it reached all the way down, almost to her backside. That must be Ino, the female of the twins. She was sobbing into a white-silk handkerchief, silently, but erratically, her head resting on her older brother's shoulder.

The undersized one had loud blonde hair. cut short, sticking up in every direction, brown goggles tied around his head. He had to be Naruto, the youngest, the boy twin. He was fidgeting with his fingers, squirming in his seat, staring at his sister with an incredulous expression on his face. He clearly just wanted the ordeal to be over as fast as possible.

One old father, whose demons would hopefully go away with the presence of a woman.

One new step-mother, who seemed cheerful enough, (and sexy enough), to keep his father from coming into his bedchamber.

Three new step-siblings, who all seemed to have…unique personalities, that would _hopefully_ aide him in his quest to stop his father from touching him again. (not that he'd _tell_ them about the past. Too embarrassing)

Three-hundred-and-sixty different reasons to worry:

Would the kids at his new school hate him as much as the ones at his old?

Would his father become worse, instead of better?

Would his new siblings dislike him?

Would his Step-mother actually be nice? Or would she be a bitch?

The list went on-and-on. But for now, in this moment, he had to focus on the wedding. Commit it to memory as one of the two big events that were forever to change his life. The first one (his mother's death) was for the worse, with any luck, this one would be for the better.

Hidan glanced up from his lap. They had already finished the _harai-gushi _and had called upon the gods to bless them. All that was left was _san-san-kudo_, the sharing of the sake.

The zealot shuddered, wrapping his arms around his chest at the taught of his father possibly getting drunk and coming after him again. That shouldn't happen though, he had a wife now to serve his savage sex-fantasies.

Before his sixty-third breath had been taken, the wedding was over. Before his six-hundredth, he was at his new home, being introduced to his siblings, his step-mom's arm around his shoulders, his father's resting on his head.

He noticed then, how tall she really was, about two inches less vertically challenged then himself. He was about eye-level with her chin. His eyes scanned in front of him, nearly betraying his poker-face with a giggle as he observed the differences in the way each of his new step-siblings were standing.

Deidara was standing off to Hidan's right, hands clasped together in front of his groin area. A long, wide strip of hair covered his left eye and corner of his mouth, the corners of which were obviously turned up in a smirk. The blonde's head was cocked to the right, surveying him with an air of flippancy and excitement.

Ino was again in the middle, her hands at her waist, accentuating exactly how tooth-pick thin it was. She had a curious expression on her face as her aquamarine eyes locked with his lavender ones. He could sense attitude and strength in her. He broke the gaze to look to the left.

Naruto wasn't looking at him, or anything else in particular. The whisker-like scars on the sides of his face twitched as he smiled. Eventually, he decided to look up, the full force of his cerulean orbs hitting Hidan as their eyes locked. He may not look like much yet, but one day he would be a force to be reckoned with.

"Kids, this is Hidan. Yuu's son, you're new brother!" She gushed, pushing him gently forward in order to come in contact with his father. He stumbled and nearly fell flat on his face, luckily though, Deidara caught him by the back of his shirt and pulled him to his feet.

"Be careful, un." He admonished, laughing slightly. "You'll be sleeping in my room, un."

Hidan rubbed his head sheepishly, blushing profusely. "Okay."

Hitomi laughed, a tinkling sound. "Okay kids, we'll leave you four to get properly acquainted."

They left for their bedroom, hand in hand. It almost made Hidan sick. As it was it made Naruto start gagging and Ino start hitting him because he was gagging and Deidara to just stand there, bored.

When the heavy oak door to the bedroom closed, Deidara spoke:

"Well…I'm Deidara, but if you want you can just call me Dei…It's easier, un." He pointed to the blonde girl with the cobalt-blue eyes. "This is Ino, un. She will beat you up if you get on her bad side, un." Hidan scoffed, crossing his arms. Ino tried to charge him, only to be held back by her bored older brother, who used his free hand to point at the last remaining Iwa. "That's Naruto, un. He's easily distracted, we think he might have ADHD, un."

"I do **not**!" Naruto yelled. "You're just jealous because girls like be better than you!" Dei simply sighed.

"Ino, take Naruto to bed. Make sure he gets out of the clothes he's in before he crashes, un." She hissed under her breath.

"Why do _I_ have to? You're his big brother!"

"He has to show me where I fucking sleep, bitch." Her mouth rounded, eyes grew. Naruto gasped, Dei started laughing.

"Not in front of the kids, Hidan, un! Yes, for the record, that's why I can't tonight, un. Now shoo!" He grabbed Hidan's left wrist and dragged him down the long hallway, through a bathroom, up a steep flight of stairs, and finally into a large airy, attic room.

One side of the room had a queen-sized bed, covered with a thick red-and-orange afghan, and a knit pillow. Messy, clay-covered shelves adorned the walls, each one overflowing with sculptures of animals, insects, and arachnids. Blocks of clay were stacked neatly on half the underside of the window.

The other had a plain queen-sized bed with a couple of cream colored sheets, a like colored pillow, and a dark-red fleece blanket. The shelves and walls were bare. The zealot guessed that that was Ihis/I area. Throwing his bags on his bed, he turned to face the blonde. Gesturing to the sculpture-ridden shelves, he spoke.

"Did you fucking make all of these, Blondie?" The artist nodded, gently picking up a spider and turning it around in his hands. It was amazingly detailed, every hair on the brown-recluse's body defined.

"I had to kill them before I made them, un. It was the only way I could capture them as something beautiful, un." The masochist nodded absently before turning to his own bag and rummaging through it for his rosary. He pushed aside clothes, books, pencils, razorblades, even the odd, broken ruler before finding it at the bottom, wedged underneath a sandal. He threw it around his neck and sauntered up to where Deidara was still standing with the spider. Holding it up underneath the blonde's nose he spoke:

"This is my Jashinist Rosary. I fucking made it out of hemp and scrap metal." Dei's eye's widened.

"It's beautiful, un! But, what's Jashin?" Now it was Hidan's turn to open his eyes as far as he could.

"You've never heard of Jashin-damned Jashinism?" When the artist shook his head no, the zealot enthusiastically jumped into explaining every little detail of the practice. With every little gruesome point, Deidara grew increasingly more interested. When the Jashinist finished, the artist flopped down on his own bed, contemplating something.

"What the hell are you thinking about Blondie?" The aforementioned blonde's head snapped up, azure eyes studying him intently.

"Tomorrow, you have no choice but to meet my friends, un." Hidan nodded…

"I'm going to go to sleep now."

"Okay, un." The zealot stripped down unabashedly to his boxers and jumped into his bed, falling asleep after his sixteenth breath.


	3. Chapter 2: Akatsuki

_None of these characters are mine, except for the parents, they belong to Masashi Kishimoto who is so wonderful as to have created them in the first place. ^_^_

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The very next morning, he woke up to a **crack** resounding from right beside his bed. Jumping up he smacked his head against the ceiling. A maniacal laugh brought him back to earth, eyes streaming, seeing stars.

"WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING HELL WAS THAT?!"

"Art, un!" Deidara's sunny morning voice rang out. Hidan blinked to clear his eye sight before fixing the blonde at his bedside with his most fearsome death glare.

"Why. The. Hell. Did. You. Wake. Me. Up. With. Fucking. Art." He verbalized, normally tenor voice low enough to pass for baritone.

"I tried shaking you, but it didn't work, un. It's time for you to get up and meet my friends, un!" The artist pulled back the bed sheets, and yanked him out of bed. "I called Pein already to tell him that you were coming, un. You can't back out now, it's my ass on the line, un."

"You woke me up, at fucking nine-o-clock in the morning, to meet an asshole named PAIN?" Dei rolled him eyes and threw a bag filled with clothes at the masochist's head.

"He spells it with an 'E', un. And he's not the only one. We'll also be meeting his girlfriend Konan, Zetsu, Tobi., Sasori, Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu, un. Now get dressed." Turning to his clay, he molded a sculpture of a robin that was laying dead, just outside the window pane. By the time Hidan had finished and used half-a-tube of gel to fix his hair, it was a perfect image of the bird.

Leaving it on his bed, Deidara pulled the zealot down the attic steps, through the bathroom, down the long hallway, and into the kitchen. There, at the heavy oak table, sat a very disheveled looking Naruto, and a very prissy Ino waiting for their breakfast.

"My mother and your father left early this morning, un. So we have to take care of Ino and Naruto for the whole two weeks, un." He grumbled, pulling eggs out of the refrigerator. "I already had breakfast, un. What do you want?"

"I would like eggs and buttered whole-wheat toast. Naruto wants the same thing." Ino ordered, resting her head on her twin's shoulder tiredly. He hesitated a mere second before leaning his head on hers. The two were sound asleep in seconds.

"It still amazes me how they can do that so fast, un. Kind of like you." The blonde muttered, fixing the eggs and toast. The masochist pulled a bowl out of the cabinet before commenting.

"What, do you have issues falling asleep Blondie?" He grabbed a package of white cheese out of the fridge and began to grate it into the bowl, listening for his answer.

"A little bit, un." The artist flipped the eggs perfectly and buttered the toast in the total two seconds it took for him to finish the eggs and place them gently on the plate. Placing them in front of his lightly snoring younger siblings he spoke again: "Wake up, they'll get cold, un."

They did as heeded, not speaking a word. The zealot finished grating his cheese, put a scoop of mayo in, mixed it and place the mixture on bread before using his voice box again.

"So where did they go, anyway?" He asked, taking a bite out of the sandwich. Naruto's cerulean eyes turned to him, his gaze laced with confusion.

"You mean your dad didn't tell you?" Ino smacked his hand lightly after witnessing the barbarous way Hidan's face began to twist.

"They went to Barbados. It's supposed to be pretty this time of year." She answered before going back to nibbling on her toast.

"My father doesn't make a freaking habit of telling me where he's going before he's gone." The masochist grumbled, fighting the urge to swear violently, then go cut himself. He couldn't help himself, after finishing his sandwich he pushed out of his chair and headed off to the attic.

"FUCK THAT FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKER! THAT DAMN HALF-ASS DUMBASS BASTARD!" He shouted, knowing that no one would be able to hear him except the dead bird on the sill. Grabbing a wooden bowl from his bag and his razor blade, he made himself bleed with his left arm, not bothering to stop it until the bowl was almost full, and there were footsteps on the steps.

"Are you ok-WHAT THE HELL, UN?" Hidan looked up from his position, boredom etched in his eyes.

"Don't worry, I can't die from blood-loss, I have Cannoncrudusutnex, I make blood cells to fast for that." Dei snorted, sitting cross-legged by the zealot.

"Regardless of your ability to die, Hidan, what the hell are you doing, un?" Sighing he replied:

"Performing a ritual. You can watch if you want." So Deidara did, looking slightly greener by the time the blood was where it needed to be for the practice, and Hidan had finished. He made an internal vow never to watch the masochist do his duties for his god ever again.

"If you're finished, we have to go to the park now, un. We're already late, un!" So they did, the artist grasping Naruto's sticky hand in his, and after a disgusted moment, the zealot holding Ino's soft, small one.

The park was a large plot of land surrounded by a chain-link fence. There were two swing-sets and slides, a bike rack, and a jungle-gym all painted pink, green, and blue. Old water bottles and candy-wrappers littered the emerald-green grass underneath them. Looking to his right, Hidan found a chained-off basketball court that had obviously been recently broken into. Sitting on the blacktop, were six, very pissed-off looking people of all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Only one seemed happy to see them.

"Deidara-sempai!" He screamed, running full blast at the artist and enveloping him in a hug. The hyperactive teenager was wearing a mask, so it was impossible to tell by his expression what he thought when his head turned the masochists way. Hidan had never felt so exposed in his life.

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"Hi I'm Tobi! Tobi is a good boy! You must be Hidan! Tobi has been waiting for a long time to meet you!" Tobi bounced up and down.

"You fucking _told_ them about me Blondie?" Deidara shook his head, honey-colored hair falling over his left eye slightly more than usual. Six breaths later and he answered his step-brother.

"Well what was I supposed to do, un! You were _obviously_ going to show up sometime, un!"

"What-fucking-ever." Dei rolled his eyes at Hidan's reply before grabbing his arm with his free hand and dragging them all into the basketball court. Naruto and Ino ran ahead, the little girl throwing her arms around a blue-haired woman, the only female of the group. The cerulean-eyed male coming to a halt in front of the two raven-haired individuals, tossing his arms carelessly around the shorter and younger. After a moment the small boy returned the hug by wrapping his arms around the blonde's waist.

"Sasuke! You actually _came_ this time!" He chirped excitedly.

"Well, of course dobe. I missed you."

"Okay, un!" The blonde pointed to the first person in the crooked line, an extremely tall male with jagged gill-like scars on either side of his face and blue skin. Seeing the way the masochist stared he smiled, revealing jagged, shark-like teeth. "This is Kisame. Kisame, this is Hidan, un."

"Hi Sharky." The blue man laughed.

"Hello, Hidan."

Deidara's finger moved to the next person in line, the elder brunette. "This is Itachi, and his little brother Sasuke, un."

"Doesn't Itachi mean 'weasel' in Japanese?" The zealot inquired.

"Hn."

"He doesn't talk much." Kisame interjected. "So when he does, I highly recommend listening to him." Hidan simply nodded, transferring his eyes to the next individual.

This one was nearly covered in peircings, they looked painful. Therefore the masochist wanted them. "That's Pein, he's leader, un. Pein this is-"

"Didn't all those peircings fucking hurt?" Hidan cut cleanly through.

"Like hell. Particularly when this one got infected." He pointed to the bar going through his ear.

"Where did you get them done?"

"I'll have to show you sometime." He pulled the blue-haired woman close. "This is my girlfriend Konan. I'll give you a piece of advice on her. When she's in a bad mood, steer clear or you will regret it." She threw her head back and laughed, a full and wholesome sound.

"He has a point there. Hilo, Hidan, welcome to our group!" He cocked his head in slight confusion before Dei moved on to the next person, a slightly shorter individual, with an emotionless face and cold-reddish-brown eyes. Hidan was kind of surprised to see them warm marginally when the blonde touched his sleeve.

"This is Sasori. Danna, this is Hidan, un." He introduced them in a gentle, calm, airy tone; however, the masochist could sense the excitement in the bomber's azure eye.

"Why do you call him fucking 'Danna' Blondie?" He simply chuckled lightly and moved on to a man who appeared to be _wearing_ a Venus-fly-trap. Half of his body was pure white the other black. Both eyes were yellowish-brown, although the one on the white side appeared to be larger for some reason.

"This is Zetsu. He has Multiple-Personality Disorder. You know, two personalities, one actual person? The only difference is that they know about each other, and argue often., un."

"Hi, Hidan! **He looks scrawny, I wonder if he tastes good?**"

"You're not fucking touching me, Plant." Hidan backed off, running smack into a very-large person behind him. Pulling away he whipped around to face the individual behind him.

"Watch where you're going heathen!"

"Hey! You're the one who ran into me!"

"No I…" The zealot's voice trailed off as he took in the imposing appearance of the large man in front of him.

His skin was heavily tanned, like he spent everyday in the sun. Hair a thick chocolate brown, sticking out every-which-way, but still managing to look okay. More than okay. He was wearing nothing more than a ragged-black tank-top that clung to his thick muscles and black mesh shorts, so the dark pink scars covering his arms and legs stood out clearly. Closer inspection of his face revealed that he had damage there too. Appearing to widen his lips until they almost touched his bright, electric green eyes. There seemed to be a permanent crease in-between his eyes, but that just added to his over-all image.

"I…I'm Hidan…" He finished, sticking out his hand like an idiot. The beautiful man just stood there for a tenth breath, like he didn't know what to do, before taking the small, pale hand in his and shaking gently. A slight shock of electrical energy riveted down the masochist's spine as the much larger, rough, calloused hand closed on his own.

"Kakuzu." He said, pulling his limb away and shoving it in his pocket as though angry. That confused Hidan, but he decided against pressing the matter and turned to Deidara.

"So why do all of you fucking hang out at once?" Before the anxious looking blonde could open his mouth, Pein stepped out from behind Kakuzu.

"A year or two ago, when I was a sophomore, I ran for class president. Unfortunately, everyone thought I was a freak because of my many piercings and didn't vote for me. Angry, I decided to start an organization of outcasts and show them all that we could be great as well. At first it was just me and Konan (She has a slight origami fetish that freaks people out) then, a year later, we met Kisame, Kakuzu, and Sasori." He took a deep breath before continuing.

"They were afraid of Kisame because of his genetic shark-like appearance, avoided Kakuzu because of his scars, and made fun of Sasori because of his puppets. Then the Akatsuki was just a fledgling, in my having a very sketchy idea of what I wanted it to be. So we simply hung out, bonded by the mere fact that teenagers didn't like us." Pein shook his head slightly.

"A few months later Zetsu and Tobi found us…they're kind of a package deal. Tobi never takes off of his mask, which people find creepy, and well Zetsu…is Zetsu. A year later, the high school we go to was rewarded by two more outcasts, Itachi and Deidara. Itachi is a genius, having an IQ of almost two-hundred, and that makes him socially awkward, so they think he's a creep. Deidara…is an artist, which would most likely be okay if he didn't have a strange fascination with creating bombs out of his art."

"Just like that we had a nearly full organization. I decided to put them all into partners, Deidara and Sasori, because they both are artists. Zetsu and Tobi are a package deal, I didn't feel like separating them. Kisame and Itachi both either have animal names…or genetics. So they fit. Myself with Konan obviously because she's my girlfriend. But we couldn't find anyone for Kakuzu. We tried someone out, but he had an accident and no longer wished to be a part of our group."

"So then Deidara started to talk about how his mother was getting remarried to a man who had a socially awkward son. Then he met you, and you told him all about your unique religion, Jashinism, and he believed that you would be the perfect partner. So the question is, do you or do you not want to be one of us?" Hidan didn't even need to think about it. Even though he professed to need no one but himself, he had always wanted friends.

"I think…I'll fucking join you! What's the catch?"

"You have to swear your dedication to us, and sign our contract in the blood from your pinkie finger. If you betray any secrets of any member or the group as a whole to anyone outside the organization, we will kill you. Not kidding." On impulse he pulled a switch knife out of his pocket and slit his pinkie finger wide open, as blood spurted out he grinned maniacally.

"Where do I sign?"


	4. Chapter 3: I Dare You

_If you're reading this, and haven't reread chapter two, go back and read it. As a few of you noticed I accidentally uploaded the wrong file. A big thank you to those of you who told me about it. If you don't read chapter two, however, I'm afraid that you won't understand a thing about this chapter._

_Akatsuki members, and seven year olds are Masashi Kishimoto, Everyone else is mine._ _Oh, and the Anime's mentioned aren't mine either, they belong to their collective creaters._

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Pein pulled a document from the heavy black-canvas book bag he had slung over his left shoulder. It was handwritten and on fire-retardant paper. Hidan didn't even bother to read it before initialing right under Kakuzu's. He didn't bother to stop the bleeding before plopping down on the hard asphalt, cross-legged, to inscribe something on his shoe with a black felt marker. Soon there was a small puddle at his feet.

"Um, Hidan? Do you mind stopping yourself from bleeding to death? It's really not worth the paperwork." Kisame asked, taking a tentative step forward. The masochist's large grin just grew.

"Oh, I can't bleed out."

"But **everyone** can bleed to death silly." Ino interjected, tiny hands placed at her hip.

"I can't. I have a rare disease called **Cannoncrudusutnex**. It's just a big word that means that-" He was cut short by Kakuzu's coarse baritone.

"You make red and white blood cells faster than you need them, which means that the only way that you can die from blood loss is if we took all of your bone marrow and cut a gaping hole in your side. More trouble than it would be worth. You also have to go to the doctor's weekly to donate blood right?"

"Nope. Actually, I do so many rituals that it's like I donate blood every day!" The puddle of life grew larger at his lower limbs, beginning to soak his blue jeans. Konan pulled Ino to her stomach, shielding her eyes, and giving Pein a sour look.

"Kakuzu, could you _please_ do s_omething_ about Hidan?" Two-and-a-half breaths later Kakuzu emitted a large sigh and pulled a needle and thread out of his bag. Dropping down to the zealot's level he grabbed his hand and stitched up the offending finger.

The masochist didn't even complain, he was too engrossed at the way the miser pulled the two flaps of skin together. To most, it was something disgusting and painful that simply needed to be done. To him, it was poetry, something beautiful that needed trimming and flow, but with the right amount of care, became a thing to be celebrated. He would slice himself up every-day just to receive this type of treatment. Of course, because he was Hidan, he didn't stay quiet for long.

"Why is he fucking stitching up my pinkie?" He asked, turning to the rest of the group for an answer.

"He's the resident wannabe doctor. Don't ask him why, he won't say. And could you _please_ refrain from using swear words in front of the seven-year-olds?" Konan replied, sneering the last sentence. He simply stuck out his tongue out and stood up, clonking heads with the banker that had just begun to stand.

"I thought I told you to watch where you're going heathen!" Kakuzu rolled his eyes and pushed the masochist back about twenty feet before returning to his place in line. Purple, yellow, and red dots flashing before his eyes he stood up.

"So what happens now?" He inquired stumbling over to the end of the line. "And why are we in a line?"

"Now we go back to the base…and the line is how we introduce new members. We'll give you and Kakuzu your assignment when we get there." Pein told him, sauntering out of the basketball court and away from the park with Konan at his side. After a few moments the rest of them followed, the seven-year-olds walking in a group between the two of the bigger kids.

The sidewalk was completely free of people of all shapes and sizes the whole way there. Which, admittedly was about thirty yards from the park.

It was only a one-story house, barely fifty feet long and much less wide. The siding was hand painted jet black with ten crimson red clouds spread in packs of two. There were only two windows out front, signifying a one bedroom apartment. Closer inspection of the clouds revealed there to be three names in each one. A specific member's first, last, and team. Right above Kakuzu's, was…his.

Hidan Lomoges, team zombie. They must have anticipated his joining. But, how? For all they knew he could have declined their offer and been a social butterfly at school. Okay, so he would never have said no in a million years, nor would he ever strike the fancy of the population at large. But how, in Jashin's name, could _they,_ people he had never met before today, guess that? He decided to speak up:

"How did you know that I would say yes…I mean, I could have said no…" Pein's burnt sienna eyes flashed in his direction.

"Itachi read your files. There was no way you were going to say no, with your background. No offense." Shocked the zealot stuttered.

"H…h…how d…did he g…get my file?" Kisame rolled his eyes.

"Didn't I tell you that he was a genius? He hacked into your school's computer. Counselor reports from Second Grade up say that you try to make friends but people stay away." Suddenly the raven-haired fifteen-year-old beside the shark turned. When his lavender eyes touched the black of Itachi's Hidan got the distinct impression that there was more, but he didn't tell anyone. Feeling a sudden rush of gratitude for the weasel, he attempted to convey his thanks through his eyes. Seemingly getting the message Itachi nodded slightly, face stoic as ever.

"Are you guys going to go in, or are we going to hold the meeting outside for the world to hear?" Not waiting for an answer, the blue-haired female shoved them all inside the front door and slammed it shut.

Everyone milled around, knowing exactly where they were to sit. Hidan had no idea, so he waited for everyone to have a seat before taking the empty wooden chair next to Kakuzu's. Apparently everyone had a designated spot next to their partner. Even Naruto, Ino, and Sasuke knew that they were to sit on the loveseat, shoved into a little corner so that Pein and Konan's Dachshunds; Schnuffles and Desha, could lay down together.

Deidara and Sasori got one half of the sofa, the puppet master by the armrest, the bomber closer to the middle. Their hands were about a millimeter apart, resting in the small space between them. A light blush lit up the blonde's face and accentuated the redhead's. The other half was occupied by Kisame and Itachi, the weasel's smaller body curved against the shark's so that they were like two pieces of a puzzle and his feet could drape over the armrest comfortably.

Konan and Pein shared a single armchair, the blue-haired woman on the pierced man's lap, her head resting in the crook of his neck, his right arm wrapped around her curvy waist. Zetsu and Tobi were on a cushion probably originally meant for the dogs on the floor. Tobi was on Zetsu's lap, bouncing up and down in anticipation of the meeting that was to come.

"Okay, first order of business. An assignment for Team Zombie! You will be going on….a mugging."

"WHAT?! YOU WANT ME TO MUG SOME JASHIN-DAMNED OLD LADY?!" Hidan screeched, panic setting in. He actually _liked_ old ladies, when he lived in Zokia, he used to visit them every other day, when his father thought he was practicing Oboe. Pein sighed, he could tell that this one was in great need of a bashing over the head.

"No. We are not that kind of organization. Our aim simply is to get you mugged, then Kakuzu will intervene and collect the valuables from the mugger's pockets. Since it's self-defense you will get off if he presses charges, and we'll get the cash. Simple, really." The zealot's eyes widened slightly.

"So I'm fucking bait!"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Why can't Kakuzu-heathen be bait and I do the ass-kicking?" The scarred adolescent snorted.

"For one, you're freaking puny and pale, no _real_ muscle anywhere I can see. Then you look at me, I'm a beast, don't disagree, they'll be quakin' in their knee-highs." That sentence just earned him a hard glare from the magenta-eyed freshman.

"I'm going to pretend the words 'I'm a beast' didn't fucking come out of your mouth. Whatever, I'll be your motherfucking bait dumb-ass. If only to save your ass from humiliation." Snorting a bit, he turned to leader. "When is this fucking mission?"

"Mission, Hidan? You need to lay off the Anime, un." The masochist turned bright pink. Mumbling incoherently he brought his knees up to cover his cheeks, but not before everyone bore witness to his embarrassment.

"What's your favorite, Hidan? Tobi's is _Sailor Moon_." The bubbly little masked teen bounced even higher.

"You actually like _Sailor Moon_, un? That's such a girly show, my passion is _Full-Metal Alchemist_, un."

"The only reason that is, is because that Edward character has long blonde hair like you do, brat." The zealot looked at the couch in surprise, at the sound of the puppet-master's voice. He'd never heard it before. He searched for some sign on Deidara's face that this was out of the ordinary, but no, all he found was a slight blush of contempt painted on his slightly sun-kissed cheeks.

"Well what's _your_ favorite Anime then, Sasori-Danna?"

"…_Full-Metal Alchemist_…" He mumbled, so low that the group could barely hear him. He seemed to speak again, but too softly for anyone but Dei to hear. The blonde's entire face turned bright red, and he was soon eager to change the subject.

"What's your favorite Anime, Itachi?" The raven-haired individual took his time answering.

"…_S-CRY-ed_…"

"I've never heard of that one."

"Itachi doesn't like to watch what everyone else it watching. Personally though, I've seen 'em all, and I _still _like _Jaws _better than anything else." Kisame countered, yawning slightly as he shifted against the puffy couch.

"No fucking way you've seen them all dude!" Hidan yelled, leaning so far forward he almost fell out of his chair.

"Yes I have!"

"Name thirty!"

"_Tactics, Tsubasa Chronicle, Black Jack, The Twelve Kingdoms, Best Student Council, Honey and Clover, Zatch Bell, Sousei no Aquarion, Harukanaru Toki no Naka de ~Hachiyou Shou~, Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, Bincho-tan, ARIA The ANIMATION, Ojamajo Doremi, Fushigiboshi no Futago Hime Gyu, Futari wa Pretty Cure, Macross, Urusei Yatsura, GaoGaiGar: King of Braves, Fate/stay night, Ouran High School Host Club, Mushishi, Kamichu!, Heidi, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, Azumanga Daioh, Play Ball, Gakuen Alice, Jigoku Shoujo, Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan, Hikaru no Go, D.C. ~Da Capo~…" _The deer-in-headlights look with a slight gold-fish mouth plastered to Hidan's face was enough to cause the Shark to spontaneously combust into laughter.

"…Okay, then, moving on. Your…'mission' will take place…in a few minutes if you wish." All of the zealot's features suddenly snapped to attention.

"R-r-right now? Like this very second…like me and heathen leave this house in a few minutes for me to get mugged in a dirty alley?"

"You sure make no sense when you get scared." Kakuzu sneered, slightly condescendingly.

"I am NOT scared dumb-ass." Hidan admonished, drawing his lips up into a snarl.

"Well then prove. It. I dare you." With that hard childhood phrase hanging in the air the zealot nervously stood up and followed the miser out of the house. If he wasn't scared before, he was now. Dares had never ended well for him.

*******Six-years-ago*******

_It was a cold day in December. Not so cold that school was cancelled, but cold enough so that all of the ponds in the area were covered in seemingly stable ice. Two of which surrounded the Elk-cove elementary school to which seven-year-old Hidan diligently arrived daily. _

_All of the first and second graders were out on the playground for recess. The zealot, then a second-grader, was sitting on the middle swing, light-up Spiderman shoed feet barely grazing the ground as he leaned back and stared at the clear blue sky._

_After only a few minutes of this solitary bliss, a scream was heard resounding from the teeter-totters. Bringing his head up level he was just in time to see Ronald Amsel, a stocky blonde boy with light blue eyes and German ancestry, go flying. The eight-year-old appeared to glide through the air weightlessly for a few seconds, but quickly came smashing down to Earth._

_He landed face down on the bar that came across horizontally and held the bars used for teeter-tottering straight. It took him a few moments to react, but when he did, it was a huge mess. _

_His lips were already swelling at an enormous rate from impact, shadows of bruises lining the outside. It seemed to be a great struggle for Ronny, as he was fondly known by his closest of friends, to open his mouth. Eventually he did, and what happened after that was something you only see in horror movies. _

_Blood literally gushed out of his mouth like a drainage pipe the second his lips parted. He tried to suck in air to scream, but only succeeded in choking on his own lifeblood. Gasping and choking for air he finally attracted the attention of not one, but all of the teachers on duty. One of them, the youngest and the fairest, wheeled around and ran inside to go for help while the others raced to the poor-boy's aid._

_The very second the teachers' attention was diverted, six second-graders appeared right next to Hidan's swing. Four were boys, two were girls. The strongest and scrappiest girl, a dirty-blonde named Jodi, spoke as leader, her dark grey eyes sparkling._

"_Now that Ronny the klutz has made the teachers go to him, we should go to the pond. No one can see us there, so we can play a game." At first the masochist was just surprised that they were talking to him, much less that they actually wanted to play with him. After a moment of his not saying anything the girl continued. "Well do you wanna?"_

_Nodding his head yes so hard he thought his brains were going to come out his eye-sockets he stood up and followed the group out to __Woodspell's pond__. It was the largest on the grounds, fenced off by a low chain-link, thirty feet in every direction, no one was allowed to go near it, except for the highschoolers, who cleaned it every spring for community service._

_Normally it was green and sludgy, but thanks to the weather conditions it was white with frost and ice. They all climbed over the fence, one by one, so quickly it appeared that they did so every day. Hidan was slower, nearly tearing his coat on the top of the fence when it got caught. Luckily he was able to slide it off and save himself an awkward conversation with his jerky father._

_The other girl, a sweet-looking new student, with chocolate brown hair that hung in thick, braided pigtails, light blue eyes, full lips and a Hispanic complexion, seemed as though she wanted to say something, but as soon as she opened her mouth it got slapped shut by her blonde friend. That should have tipped the masochist off right away, but he was blinded by the thought of friendship and acceptance. _

_They all sat in a circle on the icy ground, the zealot smack in between the two conflicting females. The leader spoke first._

"_Let's play Truth or Dare!" She squealed, grabbing at his arm. He, being very limited in his social activities looked at her with confusion._

"_What's that?" There was a collective snort and gasp through the group. _

"_How do you, like, not know what Truth or Dare is?" The leader inquired, leaning over so that he could smell her sickly road kill/sugar cookie breath. (There wasn't much difference in his opinion) Glancing at her mouth, he could see that she had more than one cavity, each untreated, becoming so bad that almost five entire teeth had rotted away._

"_Well…I've never played it before. How does it work?" This time it was the other girl's turn to speak. Her voice tinkled like bells, just as sweet as her appearance hinted._

"_Well, one of us says 'Truth or Dare' to you, and then you pick-" She was rudely cut-off by the blonde friend. _

"_Which one you want. Only scaredy-cats pick truth. I __**always **__pick dare. When someone gives you a dare you have to do it. If you don't you can't play with us anymore."_

"_Do you get it now, Hidan?" The sweet-girl's angelic voice asked. _

"_Yeah, kinda, but how do you know my name?" She smiled, revealing small, evenly spaced pearly whites. _

"_I've seen you around. My name is Arabella, Jodi is my sister." Hidan screwed up his brow in confusion. They looked nothing alike._

"_She's a foster-kid, cuz her father's an alcoholic who beats her mother and her." Jodi cut in, causing Arabella's sweet blue eyes to fill with tears. He couldn't imagine anyone wanting to hurt her, so he put his arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. She leaned into him slightly, sniffling. He knew exactly how she felt, his father beat him sometimes too when he got drunk._

_Before long though, the leader reached in-between them and grabbed the crying girl's right arm and yanked her violently away._

"_Are we gonna play or what?" She inquired, hands poised at her hip. Without waiting for an answer, she dove right in. "Truth or Dare Hidan."_

_Panicking slightly, he picked dare, not wanting to be perceived as a wimp, or a scaredy-cat. This, of course, was exactly what Jodi wanted._

"_I dare you to…walk all the way across the pond and back." Magenta orbs widened as he stared in disbelief. _

"_But I'll get dirty!" He piped, not wanting to risk his father's unjustifiable wrath._

"_No you won't-it's covered in ice. Are you afraid?" The masochist shook his head 'no', stood up, and stepped onto the ice. He took such a big step that he miraculously avoided the thin ice on the outer strip, and began to canter over to the other side. It was on his way back that he ran into some issues._

_Just before he was more than halfway to the finish-line, the ice beneath him cracked. Stunned, he halted and stared at his feet. Bad move. The ice was so weak at that one point that he fell through it to the freezing water below._

_It was like being stabbed all over with millions of knives, except not as appealing. As soon as he regained his senses he was thrashing about, grabbing at the slick as though it could help pull him up, but there was no traction, nothing to get him out of that sticky situation. Naturally, he soon began to scream._

_His screech was so high-pitched and so loud it sent the paramedics, that were already there to take care of Ronny, running towards the sound. Arabella had hopped over the fence the moment that he had fallen through and met them halfway. Breathing heavily she related her tale._

"_You have to help me! My friend fell through thin ice! I think he's drowning!" She took one large hand in hers and pulled them to the pond, where Hidan was awaiting death._

_It's a funny thing, how thinking you're going to die puts everything in perspective, and you suddenly feel at ease with the world, the pain numbs so that it's nothing more than a dull throb, and the light starts to fade. Then you hear that one voice, that one…object that gives you renewed hope and suddenly everything comes back. For the freezing zealot, that was Arabella's high pitched wail._

"_HIDAN! HANG ON! I'VE GOT SOMEONE TO SAVE YOU! DON'T GIVE UP YET!" That's funny, how did she know that he had given up on life? The masochist's entire body was shaking violently as he reached out his hands. A moment later he was yanked out and raced back to the school, his clothes thrown off and thrown in a bag, his whole small self wrapped in blankets before being set on a stretcher and carted off to the hospital in an ambulance with none other than Ronald Amsel. _

_His father arrived an hour-and-a-half later, more furious then he had ever been in his entire life. _

"_How the HELL did Hidan fall through thin ice?" He inquired, gripping the edge of a table so as not to shake him. _

"_His friend Jodi said that when Ronald Amsel had fallen from the teeter-totter, your son had been jealous of the attention he was being given, so decided to go into the restricted area of the grounds. They apparently followed, warning him that it was a bad idea, but there was no stopping him as he swung over the chain-link fence-nearly tearing his coat in the process, and walked out onto the middle of the pond where he fell through. She and four other boys climbed over the fence to try to help him while her sister, Arabella, ran hysterically for help, he would have died had we been any later." Yuu's grip tightened drastically. _

"_Well…thank god for that. When can I take the little…ruffian home?" He asked, teeth clenched so tightly it seemed as though they would crack. The paramedic just chalked that up to frustration._

"_In a couple days." _

_**------Two-and-a-half days later-----**_

_Hidan had just gotten home from the hospital after nearly freezing to death in a pond. He hadn't been conscious when his father had first come to see him so he had no idea what was in store._

_The moment he walked through the door he felt his father's arm lash out, slamming him up against the wall on the other side of the room. The door cracked shut as books fell off of their shelves. All of the blinds were drawn, all walls sound-proofed. There was no way that anyone was coming to his rescue this time._

_Rushing over to where his son was slumped on the ground, Yuu picked him up by his shirt and hit him up against the wall before tossing him as though he were a football into the living-room. Somehow, the couch broke his fall. A moment later, his father was on him, straddling his waist loosely so he couldn't get away._

_Slamming his fists into Hidan's face so hard it made his teeth rattle, Yuu began to speak, each word accented by a punch._

"_You. Little. Bastard. This. Will. Teach. You. To. Be. Defiant. And. Stupid." _

_His father did horrible things to him, truly terrible. And only to teach him to obey his elders. Afterwards, the poor little boy just lay on the floor, curled into a little ball, screaming internally.__ glancing at his right wrist, the zealot noticed that there was a deep scratch running right across the underside. Must have happened when he was attempting to get away from his dad._

_That was the first time Hidan had been r-r-r (that r word!), and the last time he had ever been beaten by his father. _

********Present********

So you see, Hidan never took a dare again, superstitious that past events would arise. But this time his father was all the way in Barbados, so nothing that bad could happen…right?


	5. Chapter 4: Mugging

"So have you ever fucking done this before, dumb-ass?" Hidan offered, anything to get his mind off the past, to stop worrying so much about the future, and to focus solely on the present. Which was he and Kakuzu, on their way to a bus stop five blocks away.

"Yeah, with my old partner." The miser grunted, boring a hole in the sidewalk with his eyes as he walked, almost too fast for the zealot to keep up.

"Did it…fucking go well?"

"You ask a lot of questions."

"Well excuse me for fucking being curious about something I've never fucking done before asshole!" Indignantly the masochist shortened his stride and moved his legs faster, sufficiently passing the annoyed banker. Widening his stride, the latter quickly caught up to the former.

Struggling to keep up it soon became a race to be first at the bus stop, nothing less then their manhood at stake. Before long, both were running as though they were being chased by something large and scaly with big, pointy teeth.

After about five minutes of this tomfoolery they arrived, panting, at their destination. Hidan; however, didn't know, and kept running, full speed down the sidewalk until he collapsed twenty yards later. Struggling to raise his head he peered at Kakuzu.

"Why…did…you…stop?" Rolling his eyes the miser walked casually over to the masochist and slung him over his shoulder.

"Hey! Put me down!" He panted, pounding on the banker's back weakly. The moment they were by the bench at the bus stop Kakuzu complied, letting him drop to the ground. Scrambling up onto the bench he leaned until he was an inch away from the miser.

"You still haven't told me if it fucking went well when you and your last partner did it, dumb-ass."

"Hidan. You. Will. Be. Fine. I won't let whomever attempts to rob you blind kick the crap out of you, or otherwise harm you. Is _**that**_ good enough for you?" Somehow, it was, and before long the ice-cold fear in his stomach melted in favor of slight butterflies, and a warm, vegetable soup-like feeling that he couldn't place. Silence overcame them as the teal bus arrived.

Climbing up the stairs Kakuzu just walked to the back and sat down, but when Hidan tried to do that he was stopped by the driver, a man who appeared to be in his sixties.

"You need to pay. Fifty-cents it says right there." The man pointed, his voice stronger than would be expected.

"He's with me, grandpa." The miser cantankerously called from his seat. Closer inspection of the man revealed him to look an awful lot like Kakuzu. Slightly darker skin, and no scars, but the exact same almond-sized bright green eyes that seemed to penetrate skulls in their wake.

"Fine. Have a seat." The old man grudgingly allowed. "But next time you owe me double."

Hidan quickly made his way to the back seat, and flung himself down next to Kakuzu.

"Thanks 'Kuzu, I owe you one." When the miser only grunted in response, the masochist tried again.

"…It's a fucking nice day, isn't it?"

"In case you haven't noticed, it's getting dark." Peering over the banker's lap, that was discovered to be true. Something that did not make the zealot feel any better about what was to come.

He knew all too well that monsters never showed their true colors in broad daylight. No, they would wait until it was so dark that you couldn't see them if you tried, then transform into the scaly beasts that become associated with the lore. Before then, when the sun was shining happily into the Earth, they were just like everyone else, the only thing setting them apart being their cold, cruel hearts that quivered and shrank back at the first sign of warmth.

Twenty-five minutes later, when they reached the place where they would have to get off, Hidan suddenly realized that this was the first time in his whole life going into the city-city part of Zokiahino without his father. Somehow that didn't help either.

As they clamored off the bus and it drove away, the zealot had a sudden, inexplicable urge to run after it and jump on the bumper. That of course was rejected the moment it came into press and a mathematical equation was applied to it.

b(49mph)Xh(15mph)=bus far, far away before he could come close to laying a finger on the shiny-metal bumper.

Staring blankly in front of him, Hidan realized that he could no longer see anything in his future but a shiny bullet, placed cleverly inside his skull. It was a scary thought, but hey, what exactly was he living for anyway? Nothing. And that's what forced him to do what he accomplished next.

He, quite simply, stood two inches taller, and faced the miser with an assertiveness that he didn't know he possessed.

"Give me your wallet." Kakuzu's eyes widened to the size of a walnut.

"What?!" He screeched.

"You heard me. Now fucking fork it over." Once he had his fat wallet in hand he sauntered across the street and down the alley, it wide open displaying the cords of cash. Pretending to count it, he didn't see Kakuzu sit down on a bench and make believe he was reading the paper, when really he was watching. In slight awe, in fact.

It seemed to drag on for hours. In fact, it did. Four straight, Hidan never wavering in his wandering or his counting, even though he felt as though he might collapse at any moment.

Another hour passed and both began to wonder if the masochist would ever get mugged. That's of course, when it happened.

It started out as nothing more than three guys, none of them really impressive looking, and four girls, all tall, wearing little, with cash stuffed in their leopard-print bras and alligator-skin panties, which were clearly visible to the odd looker. None of them were over eighteen. All eyes were bright and dilated, hyped up on something illegal, probably.

The one in the middle spotted Hidan first. Elbowing his friends and pointing at the large sum of cash tucked in his long, languid, albino fingers. Before you could count to ten in the Mississippi fashion, they were tailing him, the girls left behind in a neighboring alley. Of course, that's when Hidan did something you should never do when being followed: turn around and confront them.

"Hey…why are you following me?" Kakuzu had to admit that for all he was the most annoying creature on the planet, he was an amazing actor, having made his voice sound weak, tired, young, and sweaty.

"This isn't wonderland, we don't have to follow you to get to it." The leader slurred, sticking his chest out slightly, and leaning forward, he stuck his tongue out and licked a white, flaky substance off of his goatee. Hidan would have bet his Jashinist Pendant that it was street crank. Surprising, he would have expected high-class ice out of someone who could pay so much for a hooker.

"See we ain't following' ya, we just tryin' ta git home." The man on the left snickered, staggering slightly. Pretending to believe it the zealot turned around and slowly began his way out of the alleyway. Three seconds later he felt a blow to the back of the head. Just before everything went dark he heard a slight yelp from behind.

When he woke up he was no longer on the dirty ground of the alleyway, in fact he was somewhere quite warm. Opening his eyes he saw nothing but darkness, but after a few minutes his eyes adjusted and he noticed that he was in a strange bed, with a killer headache. There was a strange murmuring that was hurting his ears.

After a few minutes of agony he decided to find whomever was making that inane racket and tell them to shut the hell up. Standing up he swayed a little before falling to the ground with a thud. Growling he drug himself across the floor, his head narrowly missing the door when it opened to reveal a very doctor-like Kakuzu.

"Nice to see you're up. How's your head?" There was nothing but efficiency in his voice. Hidan paused a second before answering, not used to this side of the banker.

"Did I get run over by a motherfucking truck or something?" The miser chuckled softly before flipping Hidan over and picking him up bridal style, carrying him over to the bed before setting him down as gently as though he were a newly-born baby.

"No, but you did get hit in the head by a bag of glass." That didn't make any sense, if he got hit on the head with glass wouldn't he be cut? When he voiced his misgivings, Kakuzu gave him a look that clearly asked if he was seven years old.

"Not glass as in window, glass as in drug."

"Oh, yeah, we call it ice back home. I thought it was weird that he was licking crank off of his beard when he spent so much on the hookers…where am I anyway?" The miser paused before answering.

"My house. It was closest." He pondered that for a moment. Would that mean he was in the banker's bed?

"What time is it?" As usual he had forgotten his watch. So disorienting.

"Five o'clock in the morning."

"Oh. My. Fucking. Jashin. What about Deidara and Ino and Naruto?" The zealot racked his brain…wondering what they would say if his father called.

"Don't worry, I called the base, Pein let them know and sent them home."

"Do your parents know why I'm here?" One look at his face let him know that that was the wrong thing to say.

"They died. Car crash a year ago. I live with my grandpa, who's working."

"My mom died in a car crash too. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if it had been me, or better, my dad." He stared at the ceiling.

"You don't mean that." Hidan was almost surprised to hear the anger in Kakuzu's voice.

"Yes I do. My dad…well let's just say he's a new fucking level of asshole. He blames me for my mother's death, he always has."

"I'm sure that-"

"What that he doesn't fucking blame me? Well guess what he does. Let me tell you a little story. When I was five years old and had just started Kindergarten, I got made fun of every day because I went commando. I used to have a bedwetting problem so my mom had me on pull-ups. When she died, they quickly ran out and then I had nothing to wear. I knew nothing different. So I went to my father and asked him if I could have some. Can you guess what he said? 'Little boys who kill their mother don't deserve underwear.'"

"Why would he blame you if you were so small?" The zealot's lavender eyes closed.

"Because I was in the car with her. We hit head on a tractor trailer. I was crying when we swerved into the wrong lane. Because of my condition I didn't die, but she, she did. My dad has never forgiven me for being fucking alive." To his utter horror, tears began to leak from his eyes. The miser awkwardly slung an arm over his shoulder and brought him closer.

"I was…in the car too when my parents…died…" A gulp of air and then he continued. "They were taking me home from a basketball game. I had scored the winning basket, they were so proud. My mom kept turning around in her seat and smiling at me. That's what she was doing when the cherry-red ford truck hit us in the intersection, staring at me, smiling. Next thing I know, she's slumped over the seat, not moving, blood oozing out of the back of her head, my dad over the steering wheel, groaning. I'm a little shaken, but okay. That's when the car behind us…a truck, hit us from behind, somehow sending me through the windshield even though I know I had my seatbelt on. When I woke up I was in the hospital, my grandfather sitting on a chair beside my bed, my arms, legs, face, back, and chest covered in stitches. Looking at my reflection in the shiny metal of the heart-rate and brain-activity monitor, I laughed, because I looked like a rag-doll." His bright green eyes stared into Hidan's.

"Can you believe it? My only parents dead and I'm laugh-" He choked, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. This time it was the masochist's turn to bring him close and let him cry.


	6. Chapter 5: Please Don't Tell

Five hours later they were back at the base. They didn't speak of the truly touching episode that they had experienced, but everyone could see that something was different between them.

It wasn't in the way that they acted, for neither of them could change the way that they reacted to the things that the other did. Such as Hidan, swearing and calling everybody around him names that would be insulting to less tortured souls, did not spare Kakuzu the brunt of his emotional attacks. Likewise the miser never ceased to toss him around a bit, never enough to hurt him mind, just enough to put him in his place.

Nor was it in the tone of voice to which they spoke of and to each other. The zealot was as whiny and complainant as ever, the banker as unmovable and violent.

No, it was more of the aura that surrounded them when they were together. Whenever someone would come close to Hidan, something in Kakuzu's demeanor changed, growing more and more possessive, but subtly so. On the same note, whenever anyone at all would speak to the miser and get a reaction out of him (like, heaven forbid, a _laugh), _the zealot's magenta eyes would appear to adapt a greenish, jealous tinge and would flash over to the person committing the crime, as if to say: Back off bitches, he's mine.

As was usual, only three people noticed the change in atmosphere. Itachi, because he's constantly alert for fear that someone will jump out of the shadows and attack him unawares, Deidara because he's extremely interested in Hidan and everything he does, and Konan, naturally, because she is solely responsible for the welfare of everyone in the group, or so she feels.

There is some dispute over whether or not Tobi has yet figured it out, but as far as anyone can tell, he just likes to stare, almost obsessively at the two because Hidan is pretty, and Kakuzu is rather tall.

The rest of the group have that ever despicable chauvinistic gene, that basically wires them to look at the big picture on the screen of life, instead of the small, subtle smears of color that make it what it is; true, living beauty.

Once having arrived at the base, all Hidan wanted to do was sit and stare through the entire ordeal, but of course, that's not how it happened. First of all, Ino tip-toed over, her hands placed artfully on her hip and her nose so far up in the air, if it were to rain, she would drown.

"And where were _you_ last night mister?" She squeaked, her face inches away from the masochist.

"I was at 'Kuzu's. What's it to ya?" He was definitely **not **in the mood for her bossiness. Never mind that she was cute, that didn't count for anything when his head pounded, and he felt that he could throw up at any moment. Glass-induced migraines were definitely suckier than regular ones.

"I did NOT appreciate you not asking me if you could." Okay, now he was _really_ pissed off. **No one** got off acting like his mother and lived to tell the tale. Literally.

"Look you-" He was cut off mid-growl by a large, scarred hand coming in contact with his mouth and pressing it shut. Surprised, he glanced up, only to see a very teddy-bearish Kakuzu, his heavily muscled arm wrapped around the zealot's neck, leaning down to whisper something in the little-platinum-blonde girl's ear.

If that weren't confusing enough for him, something totally weird was happening to his body-not to mention his mind. His heart was pounding so hard it felt as though it might burst from his chest and polka, his stomach fluttering so that it was though he had swallowed a-million-and-one dragon flies, and heaven help him, he was even sweating!

Not that his main train of thought was focused on the malfunction of his sweat-ducts, no, it was wrapped up in wondering what would happen if he puckered his lips and kissed the hand pressed there. Would the miser pull his hand away? Hit him? Toss him through the window? Keep his hand there? Sweep him into his arms and kiss back?

All too soon, the banker had let the masochist go, winking at Ino as though they shared some kind of impressive secret. Against his will Hidan was plagued with thoughts about what it could be. A professed desire to kiss him, perhaps? A whispered contradiction about what really did happen at five-in-the-morning? Something? Nothing? Something about nothing? Nothing about something? Unsurprisingly it never occurred to him to ask.

Pein was next to speak:

"As you all undoubtedly know, tomorrow, there is school. What you don't know however, is that I've received special permission from the headmaster to take you all on a 'field-trip' to a museum in the city, as long as I pay. What _she_ doesn't know, is that we're not going to an art museum, or history museum, we are going to the museum of modern and medieval weaponry, during lunch and last period." There was a collective shifty-eye stare.

"But, why, un?" Deidara's voice rang out from the far corner of the room, sharp, but soft.

"We're going to learn about what's out there, and prepare ourselves. As we all know, guns are not fun, especially when you're at the receiving end of one of it's bullets, be it a bee-bee or a .935 caliber. So, naturally, we need to prepare ourselves for what will inevitably be our future if we continue on this path." He proudly exclaimed, sounding more like a candidate for presidency than ever.

"Do we get to shoot the guns, un?" The blonde asked hopefully, addicted as ever to the sound of things exploding.

"That, Deidara, would be a crime, so no." Impatience rang, true and clear, in the leader's voice but still the bomber pressed on.

"Can I still throw some of my bombs at them, un?" Even more buoyant than before.

"YOU DO WHAT?!" Pein screamed, as though that would make anything better.

"Nothing, un." Logically, no one believed him for a second.

"It'd best be nothing! Damn it Deidara! If one of those bombs gets it's self traced back to you, and then back to this organization, as it invariably will, we'll ALL be in jail!" Looking for a second abashed, the blonde bomber offered words of comfort.

"I don't _throw_ things, **leader-sama**." He began, voice caked with the black mud of distain. "I act perfectly innocent, un, and they come right to me. Just like you fucking want, right?"

With that swear word as icing on the most delectable cake of hostility, he was out of the room, the house, and the area, both Sasori and Hidan in close pursuit, Kakuzu following the zealot.

***************************************

The blonde had too much stamina for the masochist, who soon crashed to the ground on his hands and knees, panting and gagging. The miser knelt down beside him to await his stopping, the puppet-master easily continuing to run, faster and faster, until he was out-of-sight.

"Are you going to be alright? Or do I have to call an ambulance to come haul your sorry ass off of the sidewalk?" For that comment, he received the dirtiest look possible.

"Psh, you didn't even call an ambulance when I got knocked out for eleven hours by glass." The miser rolled his ominous green eyes.

"And it was the biggest slab I've ever seen. Don't you think we would have gotten into a little bit of trouble if I had called someone and they had seen that? Besides, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of you myself." Maybe it was the sheer, undiluted possessiveness in his voice that caused Hidan to get up and dart after the blonde; however, it also could have been the piercing scream heard from the general direction of the bomber.

Nevertheless this time they ran the entire distance he did, and came upon an…interesting sight. Deidara was sitting in the upward fetal position, on Sasori's lap, who had his face buried in the crook of his neck.

Ducking behind a tree, Kakuzu and Hidan watched the heartwarming scene:

"I can't stand him Danna! He acts like he's so much better than the rest of us, un! As if he's not just some scared little kid hiding behind a brave face, un!" Amazingly enough, that's exactly how the masochist felt, and unbeknownst to him, the same could be said for the miser.

"You have to tolerate him though, Dei. You know that he's the only reason that you have friends besides me, and even that might not have happened had you not joined."

"That's just because you're a bastard, Danna, un! Besides, I have you now, Itachi never leaves, and Hidan can't escape, that's all I need, un! I never wanted to join in the first place, but Itachi made me, un!" The red-head's arms tightened considerably around the blonde.

"You know if not for the fear of what a big group of friends could do, your mom would still be doing that to you! And worse yet, to the twins!" At that proclamation his head snapped up, blue eyes flashing angrily.

"No she fucking well wouldn't. They have a big brother, maybe two, to protect them, un. I'm older now, and stronger then she'll ever be, un!" Hidan decided that he'd heard enough and walked out of behind the tree.

"You're right, Blondie, they do have two big bro's to protect them. But from what?" Deidara stood up so fast it was like something had bit him.

"This isn't what it looks like, un!" Taking a few steps forward, the zealot rolled his eyes back so far that you could no longer see the iris.

"I don't give a flying fuck what your sexual orientation is. I want to know what the hell your mom-now my step-mom did to you. If you tell me about her, then I will go all fucking noble and tell you exactly how much of a creep my asshole of a father is." He finished his walk and sat down next to Sasori, Kakuzu following suit. After a few moments the blonde reclaimed his seat on the puppet-master's lap.

"Okay, but you have to SWEAR not to tell anyone, un." A staring contest proved Deidara to be the winner, so Hidan bowed to his awesome command.

"I swear, but for me to tell my story after yours, you need to fucking swear as well." Slitting a long strip down his palm, Dei lent his knife to the masochist and they sealed the deal in blood. The miser and the red-head were not included, for in the Akatsuki when one made an oath in blood, their partner had no choice but to be bound to the sacred act as well.

"Okay, I'll go first, un." Taking a big gulp of air he prepared to lay his soul in front of the zealot, who was preparing his heart to do the same.

Taking a breath so deep that it seemed to reverberate through his entire being, Deidara began to speak:

"Well, um…can we not do this here, un? I'd rather not be overheard." Hidan nodded, standing and offering his good hand to the blonde.

"Where will we fucking go? Back to the base?"

"Hell no, un! They can't know about this, un!" His face was so shocked, eyes so wide and angry, that the miser just had to chuckle a little bit before firing another suggestion:

"How about home then?" He cajoled swiftly.

"Um…alright…that's private, I just have to call Konan when we get there and tell her to keep the twins until I come get them, un." They walked the two-blocks to where Deidara and Hidan lived in utter silence, Sasori and Kakuzu strolling behind them, keeping a quiet-eye out for anyone that might cause harm to the two.

After four-hundred-and-sixty-eight shallow breaths, they arrived at the place that they both called home. Opening the door with his key, and then locking it behind them, the blonde led the way to the zealot and his room, through the hallway and the bathroom, up the flight of stairs and through the hatch that lead to the attic.

The masochist flopped down on his cold bed, bringing his knees up to his chin, the miser awkwardly sitting down beside him, muscles tightening visibly through his white-mesh jersey. The puppet-master sat right down on the bomber's bed as if he did it every day, positioning himself so that Dei could sit in his lap again if he wished.

The sculptor raced to the zealot's side of the room and snatched the phone hurriedly off of the fairly empty shelf. He quickly dialed a number and held the phone to his ear, after a few moments, beginning to talk.

"Hey Konan, un. Can you keep the twins until I go there to pick them up please, un? Sasori-Danna and I got tied up in something important, I'll explain later, un. Thank you!" Hanging up before the poor woman got a chance to answer, he tossed himself upon his Danna's lap with an _oomph _and began his story:

"Okay, un. It all started the first time my father ever went off to battle, un. I was about four or five years old, and couldn't understand why my daddy wasn't around anymore, un. I asked her, and she told me that my father had gone off to his death and wouldn't be back. That scared me un, so I started to cry. At first, un, she tried to comfort me, but after an hour or so, she got fed up, and left the room, un." Pausing for dramatic effect, he soon continued.

"That just made me cry more, un. When she came back, almost twenty-minutes later, she held a big pot in her hands, setting it down on the wooden floor a couple of feet from me on an oven mitt, she came over to where I was and picked me up, un. Holding me under the arms she dangled me over the pot. I felt the heat coming off of it and got really scared, un, so I tried to struggle." Feeling sick to his stomach, Hidan knew exactly where this story was going.

"She wouldn't let me though, un, and lowered me so that the bottoms of my feet were grazing the water, it was so hot, un, that I could feel the skin-cells dying. I tried to yell out in pain, but she only dipped me lower until I was submerged to my ankles and had gotten the message, un. She held me there, my feet being scalded by extremely hot water, until I had stopped crying altogether, and she felt it safe to set me on the floor and take the pot away, un." Breathing in and out evenly as he recounted this string of events, the blonde snuggled into Sasori's chest for comfort.

"From that moment on, un, whenever I didn't give her, her way she would burn me. Either with the hot water, or with cigarette butts from ashtrays at the local mall, one time she even took a lighter and held it behind my shoulder, I still have the scars, un." Pulling back the neck of his long-sleeved shirt they saw a dark, angry scar that could only have been made by a moderate burn. He also yanked up the sleeves so that they could see the little round burns from the cigarette butts, and kicked off his shoes so that they could see the slight welts that still remained.

"That's not even the worst part, un! Those few times that my dad was home, she completely ignored me. When I would try to talk to her, she would tell me that she hated me, that I was a mistake, that I should go away and fuck-up someone else's life. She constantly forgot to feed me, so I would have to eat food out of the dog's dish when I was hungry, un. My dad would yell at me when he saw what I was eating, and shove a banana in my hands, un. Then he would leave and the process would begin again, except she would collect more and more lovers over the years.

Seven-years-ago, a month after his last visit, he died, un. For a while she was unbearable, and I resorted to running to the park to escape her fury, un. That's when she found out she was pregnant, and expected me to wait on her hand-and-foot, un. She would throw random objects like marbles at me if I refused a demand, un. After the twins were born, I started to talk about a large group of friends whose parents were cops, so she stopped doing what she did to me, and never started in on the twins. And then six-months-ago, my dream became a reality. It took some convincing, but eventually Itachi got me to join the Akatsuki, un." Nestling his head into the crook of Sasori's neck, he stared Hidan down again. "Your turn, un."

The zealot had no choice, he **had** to tell them the truth now. After what Deidara had talked about, what he had shared, he couldn't chicken out. Nervously, he took eight of the deepest breaths possible before talking, first saying what he had told Kakuzu.

"My dad is an asshole in a different way. After my mom died he refused me underwear, which is why I wear shorts instead, and he fucking blamed me for her death, because she died and I didn't. He felt it should have been the other way around." Now to the part that the miser didn't know. The zealot prayed to Jashin that he wouldn't hate him after he was done talking about how his father had ruined him.

"A couple of months after the underwear incident, I began to get in some trouble at school. Not big trouble, just you know, fucking talking when the teacher was. He would backhand me across the face, punch me in the face and gut, and throw me across the room. Nothing fucking bad enough to draw the attention of the teachers though.

When I was in second grade, I was on the swing-set, and another kid got hurt. The teachers ran to his rescue, while me and a group of kids went over to the pond on the property, I thought they wanted to be my friends. We played truth or dare and they dared me to walk across the frozen pond. I did, fell through, got sent to the hospital. My dad wasn't so happy about that, so when I got home he beat me harder than ever before and…fucking raped me." Shutting his eyes tightly, he paused a moment to let that fun-fact sink in.

"After that day, he never beat me again. But he…fucking r-r-raped me, forty-two times in the past seven years, the last one…two months ago. I kept track on my arm, so that I would always know, always remember how much he didn't give a damn about me." Drawing his loose long sleeve back to his shoulder, he displayed the cuts. "You guys are the only ones who know, and it has to stay that way, because I know he'll fucking do something much worse if people found out. I thought that it might stop after he married…but I'm not sure…and that's what scares me."

The last part was whispered, so only Kakuzu heard. They all were in a state of shock for a moment. Hidan wondered if by telling them about his past, he ruined his chances of ever having real friends.

*****************************************

Eyes shut so tightly it hurt, he wasn't aware of anyone advancing on him until their arms were wrapped tightly around his body, holding him tight. Opening just one eye, his vision was obstructed by a mop of vivid blonde hair.

He hadn't been hugged like that in so long, it was a really strange feeling, but not a bad one. In fact it was pretty damn good. Like, being dunked in ice-water then wrapped in fluffy white towels that had just come out of the dryer. He decided, without really discussing it with himself, to hug back.

It was as if they were dumping everything, all of the pain, frustration, fear, emptiness into the space between them and dividing it equally. When they broke apart, each boy felt…lighter somehow. As if weight shared could not be greater then when placed alone in a lesser amount.

Nervously, Hidan turned to Kakuzu…nothing was there…at first his heart sank measurably. Then he remembered the conversation that morning:

********_Four Hours Earlier_************************

"_So…" He had no idea how to continue what they had started a few hours earlier. It seemed that there was so much that he had to say, that the thoughts just couldn't seem to organize themselves into coherent sentences. "Tell me something that I don't fucking know."_

"_Okay…I can't handle talking about important things in a big group, you know? Like if someone…got hurt or something, and I got told with the entire Akatsuki there, I would listen, then I would leave and see for myself, or talk to the person that announced it privately. It's just that…I don't know, I feel patronized if I have to spew feeling crap." _

"_Don't I know that. Okay, if you randomly get up and leave during something important, I will follow you all the fucking way out of the building, and you can not be fucking patronized."_

***********************************

"Uh…I got to fucking book for a sec, I'll be back though." The bomber and the puppet-master nodded their consent as he made his way down the hatch, the stairs, through the bathroom and into the hallway. That's where he found the miser, leaning up against the doorjamb leading to the living room. Bright green eyes flashed his way, and all of the sudden he felt stark naked.

"S-s-so…" He stammered, staring at his converse-shoed feet, praying to Jashin that what he thought might happen, wouldn't.

"So…" Heavy footsteps against the teak flooring and he got a full view of worn Nike basketball sneakers. Before he could catch his breath two fingers were placed under his chin and tilted his head up so his magenta, met the banker's green.

"Listen to me. Back in Zokia, you didn't have any friends did you?" The masochist shook his head no slowly. "So all you had was you. Now, you have friends. Me, Deidara, Sasori, Tobi, and I think Itachi too. While all the rest of the Akatsuki aren't really friendly, they **will** fight if one of their own is in trouble.

If _anything_ like that **ever** even starts to happen again, come straight to me. I **won't** let that happen to you again. If he tries to stop you do your best to get away, kick, scream, bite, hit, anything. If that doesn't work, afterward, call me and I will come over and straighten out the bastard. Got it?"

This time it was Kakuzu's turn to be surprised. The absolute second that the last word was out of his mouth Hidan threw his arms around his neck and held fast. It may have taken him a couple moments, but he soon returned the hug, tightening it so that they were like one conjoined person, but only briefly. And they…fit…

All too soon the zealot broke away and dashed back through the bathroom, up the stairs, and through the hatch-only to drop back through and run back down.

"Let's go pick up the twins and take them to the park." His voice was slightly strangled, but he held himself with dignity until they were out the door. "They're fucking making out…"


	7. Chapter 6: Bathtime

**************************************

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. Deidara and Sasori joined Kakuzu, Hidan, and the twins after an hour or so, nothing being mentioned of what was sure to have gone on in the attic.

After they were finished at the park Deidara and Hidan went home with their twins, and Sasori and Kakuzu went their separate ways to prepare for the inevitable plague that was school in the morning.

*******Seven-thirty pm***********************

"Hey Hidan, un!" Dei yelled from the confines of the kitchen. The zealot was lounging on the couch in the living-room, feet up, watching Sponge-Bob-Square-Pants with the twins. Naruto seated to his right, Ino to his left, both were leaning on him ever-so-slightly, tired from their day of activity. He didn't mind.

"What?" He shouted loud enough to be heard.

"I have to run to the store, un! Give the twins their bath and have them to bed by eight!"

"Okay!" Before the last syllable had left his mouth there came the sound of the front door slamming shut. The masochist was on his own. Grabbing the remote he clicked off the TV.

"Hey!" The twins protested at the same time.

"It's bath time. Grab fresh underwear and pajamas and meet me in your bathroom!" The kids complied, obviously used to their mother being a bitch about them being clean. Walking slowly down the hall, into the twin's room and then into their bathroom, he wondered exactly how long Deidara would be, what he'd needed, and why he'd chosen to go at seven-thirty, and not earlier.

Turning the knob on the tub he tested the water on his wrist to see how it measured up. It was perfect. Thank Jashin for that required child-care class.

A few minutes later and they were in the bathroom, a bundle of clothes in their arms, taking it from them and setting it down on the toilet seat he shut off the water and motioned for them to get in.

Ino stripped and did so, no problem. Naruto however, ran away and hid under the covers.

"What the hell's his problem?" Ino tsked at him.

"Watch your language! He's afraid of water. When we were little he almost drowned in the tub because mommy left to make a phone-call while the water was still running. Dei had to save him, I couldn't lift him up." Oh great. Now he was going to have to deal with this. No wonder the blonde had left.

"Um…I'll take care of him, just try not to drown, kay?" When she nodded he walked quietly out of the bathroom so as not to scare the little boy. Sitting at the edge of the bed he was huddled in, he began to talk.

"So I hear you're afraid of water." He began.

"Yeah. What's it to ya?" The little blonde cut in defensively. Kind of put off by the hostile behavior, the zealot continued.

"So am I." Tossing the covers off of himself, Hidan's lavender eyes were met by those of sparkling cerulean.

"Why're you scared?"

"When I was little I almost drowned in a pond at school." And afterward got viciously nabbed by his father. But he wasn't going to tell the tyke that.

"How did you get over it?" Now's the time to lie.

"Well, I had someone to help me through it. And you have me, I won't let you drown." The first part, had never happened. He was still scared to death of any and all water. He sponge bathes. But that wasn't going to happen to Naruto if he could help it. "C'mon the quicker we get it done, the quicker it'll be over."

The small boy grabbed his hand and together they went into the bathroom where he stripped and tentatively got in, cross-legged, beside his sister. Hidan shampooed and rinsed them, they cleaned themselves off, the drain was unplugged and they were wrapped in towels, then dressed in their pajamas and tucked into bed.

"'Night guys!" He called behind them as he exited the room. To his surprise, standing behind the door, was Dei. Clutching his chest he admonished in a whisper: "Don't fucking scare me like that! How long have you been there?"

"Oh…about twenty-five minutes, un."

"What did you get at the motherfucking store that only took you five minutes?"

"Oh is that where I said I was going un? I just had to run outside and get the mail." There was a sort of strangled noise, and then Hidan was on top of him, using all of his self-control (which wasn't a lot) to not strangle him. The blonde was stronger than him though, and rolled over so that the positions were reversed, stood up, and dragged Hidan back up to their room.

"Get undressed and go to sleep, un." He snapped, stripping himself down to his red checkered boxers and sitting down on top of his disheveled bed. "If you want to use my boxers you may, un."

"Thanks Blondie." He helped himself. "Um…do I have to go to school tomorrow?" He nervously asked, although he knew what the answer was.

"Yep. Don't worry, you'll more-than-likely have at least one of us in all your classes. Now shut up, un, I need to concentrate on my art!"

*******************************************************

_It was midsummer, Hidan was standing outside, underneath the stars. Feet bare and muddy, chest exposed. A stick cracked sharply from behind him, spinning around he ran as fast as he could towards the noise, spear in hand. _

_At first, he didn't see anything, then a dark brown deer faded into focus, starving for blood he flung his weapon at the defenseless animal, striking it dead. _

_Sprinting towards the dying creature he flung himself at it's side, preparing to sink his teeth into the bloody flesh. Movement from the right told him the deer hadn't yet fully perished. _

_Wheeling around a rock suddenly appeared in his hand as he prepared to bash the poor thing's skull in. Before he could though, he caught glimpse of his eyes; they were a bright, familiar green._

_Suddenly it wasn't a deer, but Kakuzu lying there with a gaping, bleeding hole in his side, maggots crawling visibly in the rotting flesh. The masochist was horrified, regretful at what he'd done, so he yanked the infested blade out of the miser's side and plunged it into his own chest, piercing both heart and lung. But he couldn't feel anything, and he didn't die. _

_Gazing down at his left arm he noticed bubbles pushing up from below the skin, disgusted he tried to brush them off, but that just made them grow larger until they burst, tarantulas the size of small radios bursting out and crawling all over his body, especially on his face, even passing through the barrier of his mouth. Screaming bloody murder he felt as though he might die from fright instead of-_**BUZZZ BUZZZ BUZZ **

"Hidan! Wake the fuck up, un! Nothing's hurting you!" All the noise came at once, halting the terrifying dream in it's tracks. Was it a dream? Hidan could still feel the unpleasant sensation of a million-and-one legs crawling over his entire body. Why couldn't the spiders go away? He pawed at his face, digging into flesh with uncut nails.

**BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ**

"Hidan! Stop it, you're hurting yourself, un!" He felt the weight of the biggest tarantula yet leap upon him, forcing his hands to his sides. Kicking and screaming he tried to get away from the humongous arachnid, but that just made it hold on tighter. After a few moments, he felt a stinging sensation in his cheek: someone had slapped him. Opening his heavy eyelids he stared into the face of his step-brother.

**BUZZ BUZZZ BUZZ BUZZZ**

"You're not a fucking tarantula…" Rolling his clear azure eyes Deidara clambered off of him and turned off the frantically buzzing alarm. Yanking open the dresser drawer he picked a shirt and pants at random and tossed them at Hidan's head.

"Get dressed. I have dibs on the shower this morning, un." He flatly called from across the room and sauntered back down the stairs and into the bathroom. Sighing he pulled on the clothes. Thank Jashin he'd had the sense to shower at Kakuzu's when offered the chance. If he hadn't he'd definitely be screwed. A glance at the clock offered the time to be about five-thirty. What the hell? They should both have enough time to shower, how long was Blondie planning on fucking being in there?

That question was answered an hour and ten-minutes later, when the blonde bomber joined Hidan and the twins for breakfast.

"Holy Jashin, how long can one person take in the shower?" He inquired, tone annoyed, around a spoonful of Honey Bunches of Oats. As soon as he swallowed, he wanted to have chosen a different food. He'd forgotten how annoying it was to have food stuck in your cheeks.

"I have a lot of hair, un." He shrugged, pulling a bowl out for himself and searching through the cereals, finally settling on Cheerios. "Do you have your schedule for today, un?"

"No…where do I get one?"

"The guidance office, don't worry, I'll take you there." Suddenly it was all very real. He was going to be dunked in the shark-tank of pubescent teens yet again. That singular though was way, way more terrifying than the tarantulas.


End file.
